My Best Friend. . .

I can be so terrible to my best friend.  I hate to admit it but I take my best friend for granted.  My best friend is extremely loyal to me, offers the best advice and when I'm doing wrong he lets me know and tries to set me straight.  He's always there for me but sometimes, I am not always there for him.  I hate that about me.  Sometimes when he's told me something about me that needs to change, I get mad at him and can go days or weeks sometimes without even speaking to him.  It's real bad because I run into him ALL the time.  He lives with me so it's even worse when I am cold to him.  Then after awhile I'll speak to him again and acknowledge that he was right and I was wrong and that I am sorry.  I ask for his forgiveness and he gives it to me. 

Even though he lives with me, he does have his own place.  He invites me every week to go hang out at his place one day a week.  I usually go but have missed a few times.  I know I should go.  It's always a great time.  He invites a lot of people and I feel sorry because sometimes the people he really wants there don't show up but it's a good time anyway!  We crank that music up, sing some great songs,  talk to each other and listen when someone has something real important to say.  I always love going it's just sometimes I have other things I want to do. 

There are days I ignore my best friend.  I will say "Hi" in the morning and talk about how thankful I am for our relationship or skip that and just talk about what I would like help with throughout the day. At lunch we get back together and I am thankful for the lunch he provided but then I'm back to my day. Some days I sit and read a little bit of his book but not everyday. He wrote this book and although I've read it all the way through, I can't remember every detail.  Sometimes he'll say something and I know it's from his book and I'll act like I know what chapter it came from but I really don't.  He encourages me to read it every day so I can have some of his best advice memorized but I skip some days. 

Sometimes I have a very long list of things I want him to do for me.  Since he lives with me, I have some things I want him to do or pitch in.  Sometimes he does them but more times than not he has his own ideas of what needs to happen around here.  He'll give me a list of things he wants me to do!  Sometimes they don't make sense at all.  We've got our own bills to pay and he asks me to give money to help with his place!  Every time I have given money to help him with his place, he repays me back more than I ever gave.  But sometimes I just don't help him with his place.  I feel bad about it but things are sometimes just too tight.

Sometimes I let others and things take up the time I should be using with my bestie. Like sometimes I seem more excited at a basketball and football games and more happy with others than I am with him. Sometimes I spend way too much time watching tv, playing games, and hanging out with others, when I should be calling on my friend.  And when the kids came, I should have had my best friend help me more with the kids. My best friend had a son. He died a horrible death at the age of 32 but my friend is full of peace and love and still talks about his son lovingly! My husband and I tried to raise our kids on our own.   We'd take them once a week over to his place and he'd have an occasional meal with us that we thanked him for but I see now we could have done more to let him help us, he did have a son of his own he looked after.

My school doesn't like it when I talk about my best friend but I find ways to at least teach them some of the lessons I've learned from him.  I can't give him credit for those things at school but some of my students know him and have hung out at his house too so they kind of know where my influence is coming from. I kind of hope the students will invite their friends to meet him at his house. 

Just yesterday was my best friend's son's birthday!  Even though he died long ago, people still get together to remember him.  We exchange gifts on his birthday with family and friends and have a great feast of food.  It's not a sad thing remembering him.  It's a very happy celebration of life! 

I don't want to "name drop" here so if you don't know by my description who my best friend is, I'd love to introduce  you to him.  Just ask me and I'll get you acquainted with Him. 

His Presents!

Merry Christmas!  Christmas will be here before we know it and most of us have some presents already wrapped up in anticipation for the day!  Jesus's Birthday party is a highly anticipated event even to those who don't even know Him.  Everyone loves a party and so even those who don't know Jesus have been crashing his birthday party for years!  Leaving quite a few Christians concerned that we have lost the true meaning of Christmas.  Christians try to turn attention to "Jesus is the Reason for the Season" which is so true!  We start talking about "God's presence being more important than the presents under the tree."  But this morning I felt overwhelmed not with his presence but with His presents. 

God placed on my heart this morning that Christmas is Jesus's birthday and the presents are apart of this celebration.  We may over emphasize and over spend on gifts but presents have always been a part of Christmas!  Because God himself gave us Jesus on Christmas and the wise men so humbly followed the star and brought gifts to Jesus on the day He was born.  Presents and gifts are a part of the story but they are not the major emphasis of the story!  The main emphasis should be on Jesus, the life he lived, and how He died on the cross for our sins and rose agains! 

This morning I woke up a little tired and a little cranky.  I found myself feeling convicted to write.  I thought I'd write what I jotted down in a notebook yesterday but instead God led me to this passage in

James 2:4 " When troubles come your way consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow.  So let it grow, for when your endurance is "fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing"

 and then I was directed to

Galations 5:22 "The holy spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives, love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control." 

Immediately I began to think of these fruits as "His presents" that he has for me but I have to wait.  Just like my children see the presents under the tree but they must go through each day, finish school up and wait for Christmas Eve when they can open their presents.  There is great joy each day in the anticipation of opening those gifts despite not being able to open them now.  There is still pleading of "please can I just open one" but it is not yet time.  And I ask God the same thing!  I see the gifts of his fruit and I want nothing more to open that present but I have to wait and endure these hard times we are going through now.  No one but us and God knows what we are going through and it's hard and all I want to say is "Can I just have one present now. If you just give me one present now. I'll be good for the rest of the time."  And God said to me, "Through these trials my dear, there has been a present I have told you that you could have but you don't think it's useful until you get through all of this. But it is the one thing that will get you through.  Your troubles have given you an opportunity to open up the great gift of "Joy" but you have yet to open it up. If you want to open up one present now, it needs to be this one." 

And so I opened that present this morning and it's not a useless gift.  I feel such a joy in me today that I haven't had in a long time. I've had the gift of joy before but honestly, I think I lost it in the move!  However, I know there will be days where I have to make myself use this gift.  It won't come as easily as it does today but I won't let the new wear off this gift.  It's too great of a gift to just forget about or lose.  And I wait with great anticipation to open up not the presents under the Christmas tree but "His presents" that I know will come if I take the Joy He has given me and walk through these difficuties in His presence!

Spiritual Warfare

Ephesians 6:10-11 Be strong in the Lord, and in the strength of His might. Put on the full armor of God, that you may be able to stand firm against the schemes of the devil.

Today was just like any other day for us.  Meaning we are under attack.  Spiritually we are in war and have been engulfed in a huge war ever since we decided to come here.  Why is it that everything has been difficult every step of the way?  Is it because this isn't where we are supposed to be?  ABSOLUTELY NOT!  The trials, the problems, the discouragement, are all here because we ARE where we need to be!  God has a great plan for us here and although we don't know the details of it, it really has to be something special for the spiritual enemy to be attacking us.  You see often times when you are on the right path, everything will go wrong because the spiritual enemy wants to cause you to make a detour or slow you down with a "flat tire" to keep you from going where God wants you to go.  Not all things going wrong is a sign you are doing wrong it often is a sign you are doing some things right!  So blessed we were able to hear a sermon on this not long ago. 

But today was just another attempt in this war to keep us from where God wanted us to go.  You see Chad was to speak at church this morning and he left early to get there to prepare for it.  The kids and I left the house quite a bit later but when we left we experienced a really FLAT tire.  I pulled the car into a parking lot and called Chad who of course did not have his cell phone on since he was already in church!  I looked through my contacts and realized I don't have numbers of folks here in Altus that I could call and get a ride. I prayed for God to help us and I knew what we were to do.  So I told the kids to get out of the van and that we were going to walk to church!  I told them that at 10:00am Chad would realize we weren't there and he'd call us but that we could do our best to get there on our own. 

The road has no shoulder so we walked in the grass.  Lindsay immediately began to fear that there might be snakes in the grass.  Lance said "God won't allow a snake to bite us we are trying to walk to church!"  and then shortly after that Lance said "I sure am tired of walking." and Lindsay said "I am sure God will provide us a ride to church."  And sure enough a few steps later a very nice woman we have never met before,  heading to a different church offered to give us a ride to our church.  We were so happy to see "Sandy" and gladly accepted the ride.  We arrived at church just a tad bit early. 

You see our spiritual enemy tried to use the flat to deflate us from getting to church.  He tried to get me angry that Chad wasn't answering his phone.  He tried to make it a distraction to us but God told me to get the kids and start walking.  Because we started walking, we got a ride, and because we got a ride we were early not late to church, and because we were early we weren't a distraction to Chad who was about to deliver a message about staying on the right path even when there's all kinds of obstacles keeping you from doing it! 

So this morning, we were under attack but God led us to victory just as he has done several times over.  There are some battles we are going through right now where we are just right in the middle of them but I believe God will show us victory in those things too!  Don't be deceived! If you know you are where God wants you to be then just hold on tight!  Difficulties may be headed your way but don't be discouraged! Keep going where God is leading!   If you aren't sure you are where God wants you to be and you are going through difficulties, you better ask Him if your troubles are coming because you are doing right or if your troubles are coming to get your attention because things aren't going the way they should. 

Send me a Sign

Isaiah 7:11 "Ask the Lord your God for a sign of confirmation,. . .Make it as difficult as you want- as high as heaven or as deep as the place of the dead."

A lot of times I have asked God for a "real sign".  I don't mean a sign in turns of miraculous ones or in wow this could only be from God type of signs.  I've seen those and experienced them.  In the moment you believe it and take to it and know it was from God but sometimes when the moment is gone and things are getting hard you doubt if it were a sign at all!  What I've been discussing with God the last several years is why he can't make things as obvious as "street signs"!  Street signs are pretty clear on when you need to STOP and YIELD.  Street Signs are pretty clear when you are going "WRONG WAY" and when you need to go "ONE WAY ONLY" and they let you know when you need to take an exit with your destination clearly marked on the Exit sign!  They let you know when  a U-Turn is permitted and when it is not! Street Signs are always there and if you ever had a doubt that maybe the wasn't the "ONE WAY ONLY" you can always go back and find the sign that says it is! 

A few months ago when we were moving, the kids set in the backseat crying!  Although I had prayed for only the right door to open for Chad a head coaching job and had believed at the time it was the right move to make, in the moment going down the interstate doubt sank in!  The "what ifs" came in and the biggest one was "what if" this was a big mistake?"  Our house sold for way less than expected, problems at the new job were greater than expected, my job was going to be a long commute everyday, it was difficult to rent the house before closing, it was hard to see the kids so upset about moving and it seemed like nothing was going smoothly like you'd expect if you were going the right way!  I imagined it was like we were going down the wrong side of the road, having to dodge the obstacles in our way but we were sure we were doing the right thing even though it was clear we might be the one going the wrong direction!

Doubt had overtaken me!  I was ready to U-turn and go back but I realized there were no U-turns permitted, both of us have resigned from our jobs there and we had sold our house. No U-turns were permitted at this point!  I drove the van just thinking about how it sure would be nice to see a sign we were going the right direction!  God just pop one up after this last toll that says "Stone Promised Land 115 miles" or anything that I would know means we are going the right direction!  I drove many more miles hoping we were doing the right thing and then a sign that I have probably seen countless times but never paid attention to came into view.  I had my phone in my hand and just barely caught this picture of it. 

Yes that sign says Cache/Altus Exit 1 mile!  I know that sign has probably been there for many many years and it doesn't say "Stone Promised Land Exit 1 mile" but it does say exactly where a few months ago I felt God leading us to go and then in a "drive of doubt" when I asked for a "street sign" so that it would be perfectly clear, not only did I see the sign I've ignored countless times but God allowed me to get this quick shot of it as a "sign" of confirmation!

I'll be the first to admit that I was not at all looking forward to the commute I would have from Altus to Cache.  Part of me so dreaded the start of the school year and part of me was upset that God did not provide a job for me in Altus.  However, I have found that I truly love my job.  It's not always easy as teaching rarely is always smooth but I enjoy it more than I ever thought possible!  I understand now that this commute was for my best interest.  It wasn't a punishment.  It is exactly where I need to be right now!

Night Lights

Night Lights are a must for our kids. Right after the kids say their prayers and we turn off the light switch and shut the door, if we don’t flip the night light on we hear a shout of panic “My night light’s not on”. With the night light, they have the security they need to drift off to sleep. After they are asleep, most nights you could turn off the night light and they wouldn’t even know it. Nights when they manage to get in to bed with us, no night light is needed they feel secure snuggled up next to mom and dad.


I can’t fault my kids on this as I have my own “night lights” in my life. I am old enough to not be afraid of the dark but I haven’t grown out of my insecurity. I believe in God and say my prayers each night but just like my kids, I need a little extra something to make me feel safe. Right now I have several night lights going at once, like a job, a nice home we’ve had for 6 years in a community we’ve been in for 15 and plenty of friends but that’s about to change. We will be moving to a new town soon. I don’t have a job lined up yet. We have to sell our home and money is tight as we just got back on our feet from me not working for 18 months. I’ve only been at my new job for 7 months. Slowly my “night lights” are being turned off one by one and it’s a bit scary to not have that security but as the lights go out, I am reminded to just rest in God.

My real security doesn’t come from money, jobs or nice things, it comes from Him. The uncertainty of what lies ahead is still there but I am not afraid or anxious when the lights go out and all I have is God to get me through. Just like my kids don’t need a night light when snuggled up next to their father, I don’t need my night lights when I am resting with my Heavenly Father. . 

And It's Good. . .



AND IT"S GOOD!!!
Romans 8:28 "And we know in all
things. God works for the good of those
who love him, who have been called
according to His purpose."

 Three years ago when my husband resigned from his dream head coaching job (that he just got) to care for his sick mom, I knew we were doing the right thing.  It was easy to see at that moment it was the right thing to do!  However, I didn't imagine how hard the road would be for doing the right thing!  I knew we had a challenge with bringing his mother in to live with us as she can be difficult at times.  I knew we would have an income problem since Chad would at best be an assistant coach and at worst just teach for a year.  I knew this and God reassured us and said "It's good you do what I am leading you to do." I had my mind wrapped around the idea that it would be a tough year but that it would all work out in a year!

Well it didn't work out in a year, at least the way I thought it would!  Things definately got a lot more difficult! I took a buy-out at my job thinking I would get a teaching job in a few months!  A few months turned into 15 months of being unemployed!  Another hit to our income! How could we survive?  But we did!  God reassured us and said "And it's Good. . . you have this time at home with your son before he starts school.  And it's Good. . . you have a chance to rest and heal."  However there were days when I wished for the easier life, when I wished we could have just gone on with our plan for our life.  Days where I was angry God made us choose.  Days where I felt everyone was looking at us like we were fools to do what we were doing and days I felt the fool for doing what I was doing!  But God would come back and reassure me "It's good you followed my plan. And it's good things aren't as easy as you are used to them being. And it is good you are developing character."

Then God provided a teaching job for me at North and not just any job, a job teaching Marketing which I really enjoy!  God provided a head coaching job to open up in the district.  I really thought we were coming through to see the "promised land!"  But the job in the district didn't work out.  I can't tell you how low we felt.  Again doubt from 3 years ago would creep in and doubt about if God even cared crept in as well.  But again God reassured me "It is good you doubt. And it is good you question. Sometimes you don't get the answer without the question." Although it was reassurance it did not make me feel any better.  I still had to ask why God did not see fit to give us back some of what we lost.  We had been faithful and I thought in return He would be faithful and would want to give us some of the desires of our hearts.  And that's when it hit me what all God had done!  I had been blinded by what I wanted but did not see the incredible BIG prayers being answered because I was so focused on the jobs and the income.  What God did do was what I thought could never be done.  He gave me a good relationship with my mother-in-law.  Something that we have never had and I didn't even think God could make happen to be honest.  It's not a perfect relationship but it is by far better than I could have ever imagined!  What God also did was take our daughter and give her wisdom and understanding about His word that is amazing to see in a child her age.  What God did do was take our son who was shy and acted out and has turned him into an outgoing, polite and respectful boy (for the most part).  What God did do was take the difficult times in our marriage over the past 3 years and turn our marriage into something so strong and filled with so much joy and love.  What God did do was change everything that mattered! 

I realized that it was BIG things God was doing but in my incredibly selfish heart, I couldn't help but think if He could do all of that why not do something smaller like a new head coaching job?  My prayer had been for God to only open the doors He wanted us to walk through.  I didn't want a bunch of interviews to get our hopes up.  I just wanted the "one".   Out of the "blue" on a job we had heard through the rumor mill was "guaranteed" to another coach, the call came for an interview there.  I have to say that at the moment, I knew that was where we were going but it shocked me so much that's the job God had in mind!  A job closer to my family but at a large school that has tradition and talent!  A job that is perfect for us and a job my husband accepted this week!  God reassured us again "It is good for you to go here. And it is good. . . that this is exactly what you would dream of if you didn't allow yourself to settle for just anything."

God is soo Good!