Is your Relationship with God or is it really with the Church?

It's been a long time since I blogged and it's because I've fallen into exactly what I am blogging about today.  When I was not working and was home, I found myself spending a lot of time, reading the Bible, fellowshipping with other believers, surrounding my day with Christian music that filled the house.  It was exciting to see all that God was showing me.  I supplemented all of this passion I had by also going to church. I had also found myself going over a daily "Christian To Do" list and felt a little too proud of myself when I checked it all off my list each day and I was judgemental of others who weren't as dedicated.  If I didn't accomplish all on my "Christian chore list", I felt bad and guilty for not living up to what I thought was God's standards.

Then things began to change.  I started my first year of teaching. I teach 4 different classes and had a fashion show to plan and also manage our classes cookie business.  Now I see that it is a lot for a new teacher especially one who is a bit older with no education background!  But not only that, our son started Kindergarten and our daughter began 3rd grade (a pretty tough year in school) oh and it was FOOTBALL season which meant the homefront was mine to manage and also had to work on encouraging and supporting Chad.  My intentions were good at first.  I was still going to tackle my "Christian Chore List" and gave myself a little break because I was of course doing God's work! He had provided this job for me against the odds, right!  But shortly after that when it didn't take a week to get settled and I had become more overwhelmed than I thought possible, I began to see I wasn't reading the Bible or worshipping like I had and my prayers had gone down significantly.  I was still going to church but it no longer was a supplement it was my only source of God and I made that a priority for a while. I thought I was just settling into what I believe most "Christians" do.  Then it hit me that really I only had a "relationship with church".  I no longer had the relationship with God that I had so deeply enjoyed the 15 months prior to me working.  I had become the Hypocrite that I had been so judgemental of in the past!

What did I do? I quit going to church. I couldn't be a hypocrite any longer.  I had to examine if my "Christian Chore List" was really what God wanted.  He opened my eyes to see that even when I had totally committed myself to Him, I had been developing "Pharisee Philosophy" at the same time. As I became closer to God, I had been making the "rules" of how to keep that intimacy with God.  Rather than realizing that my devotion to Him comes from Him when I ask, I began believing that I had to perform all these tasks to maintain that relationship when the truth was, those acts flow naturally and can even change daily depending on how God chooses to act when you simply just talk with Him.  God knew fully well that I was not going to be able to keep up my "list" and it was never His purpose for me to put Him on my "To do list".  Just like when going shopping with a friend, it is not on your list to talk with him/her, you automatically do it because you enjoy that persons company. When you realize God is with you always, you don't put Him on your to do list, you talk with him constantly because you enjoy His presence. 

I will be going back to church soon.  Church is never to be your only source of God for the week.  It is just a supplement. This experience has opened up my eyes and I believe there are a lot more people who really only have a relationship with Church and confuse it to believe that it translates to a relationship with God.  Churches with the best intentions blur this line for followers as well.  It at time seems like the focus is more to serve the church and the church's name than it is to serve God.  But serving God first naturally leads you to serve the church either within the walls it is built or in the broader sense of being the church and serving the world.

God’s Hand Prints

We hear about God’s footprints especially in the sand but don’t hear as much about God’s hand prints being all over everything.  I like to think that God’s hand prints are so much over our life that we couldn’t make them out.  It would just be solid with prints on top of prints making a “depth of his touch” all around us.

I’ve been doing some thinking  about how God has touched my life.  I’m visibly going back to see His prints on my life.  Things I didn’t understand when they were happening, were the very thing that lead me to my calling.  God purposely nailed doors shut, boarded up windows, and wouldn’t allow things I wanted to happen.  At the time, I didn’t see God touching any of it.  I felt like he was ignoring the desires He had put into my heart!  But now I see his prints were everywhere! 

His prints were all over my heart break when last year I didn’t get a job I had so wanted and out of the blue at the park  in Edmond while playing football with my son, I meet the man who got the job in OKC that I was so wanting!  I thought God was being cruel because this clearly wasn’t a coincidence meeting him but seeing how this father really needed that job to support his family, God used that to humble me to see it’s not all about me!

God’s prints were all over every financial crisis I thought was looming over us this past year but each time God had a plan to get us through!  When we thought of the expenses it would take to get my mother-in-law into an apartment, friends and family came through with furniture, washer/dryer, and food.  When it looked like we would be cutting it close some months, an unexpected check or refund would come in the mail.  When I thought my unemployment would run out, it was extended!  God’s prints made a solid covering of “green”  over all of our finances!

And God’s prints where all over me getting a teaching job this year!  With budget cuts in education, the principal didn’t even expect to be able to fill the teaching position but God made sure it happened!   Nervous about my interview and not having been in a marketing book  in  years, I sought out God the weekend before the interview and just prayed that He would direct me to what I needed to know.  Before the interview, I just prayed He’d give me the words to say.  The exercise I was given was over the topics I had studied.  Every question given, I had a good answer!  When I got the call that I had gotten the job, its as if I could feel  God’s prints all over my life. They were so thick they enveloped me like a warm blanket and brought so much joy to know He was always there even when I had doubted if he really was there!

Partly Painted Fence

 James 2:22 “You see his faith and his actions worked together. His actions made his faith complete.”

 

 

  In March 2008, my husband Chad began painting this fence.  We were getting ready to put the house on the market and move to our hometown where he was going to be the head football coach of our alma mater.   While painting this fence his mom who lives  here became ill.  The call that she had cancer came while we were in the process of painting this fence. 

Today May 30, 2010, this is what our fence still looks like. See we made the difficult decision to stay and for her to move in with us so that we could care for her and try to make her as comfortable as possible.  Life changed and the fence being painted just wasn’t a priority anymore.  We had many more important things to deal with. 

To me, this fence has been a reminder of where we wanted our lives to go.  We were painting the fence ready to move on to better things and for me to be close to my family!  This fence is also a reminder as to where God wanted us to go.  The unpainted part doesn’t necessary represent just us staying but represents our willingness to go through some ugly times!   We definitely have had our share of extremely trying times and things have not gone nearly the way we would have wanted! 

You see when we decided to stay, Chad no longer had a job.  The head coaching job he had resigned from already had a new coach.  So he had to settle for an assistant’s job and is still an assistant coach 2 years later.  And his mom moving in with us, well that wasn’t a smooth ride either!  Not at all the plan we had for us!

And I stayed with my job but the stress of work and home eventually gave way to me taking a volunteer severance package last May.  I was OK with doing it because I wanted to pursue a career in teaching but no jobs came open last year.  A year later I still remain unemployed!  Not at all the plan we had for us!

But God’s plan I can say has had its high points with the lows but it would not have been the plan I would have picked given all the details!  But through helping my mother-in-law, I gained patience in my life (although I could definitely use more). I’ve gained a greater love and respect for my husband seeing him willing to care for  his mother no matter how difficult it became or what the personal cost would be to his career.  We have gained more family time with me not working and with Chad being just an assistant coach. 

See in the world’s eye we probably look like a failure and look like we made some bad decisions, seemingly, that our income has taken major hits  but in God’s eye, He sees us as having made the best decisions and has richly blessed us with that.  I do believe the time and the place will come where God will deliver us into the dreams in our heart but for now it is for us to enjoy where we are and fully trust Him.

Today Chad is  outside right now painting the fence.  No we aren’t physically moving but the time has come to move on. Our faith and our actions worked together. Now  it’s time to complete our faith!  No more reminders of the decisions we made just the completeness of a new coat of paint over it all that says we are moving on with God! 

10 Things Track has taught me about the Christian Life

Hebrews 12:1 “Let us run with endurance the race God has set before us.”




1. Hurdles. Runners carefully measure and count their steps to jump the hurdles. If a runner gets off on his/her steps then they must take a stutter step that costs them time or possibly costs them to trip over the hurdle bringing them some pain. In life we must also pay attention to the steps we take to overcome the hurdles in our life. Each step we take the way God is showing us, the easier it is to overcome our hurdles. If we get out of the rhythm of being in step with God, the hurdles in our life can certainly slow us down and/or cause us to fall.
2. Relays. The truly team aspect of track comes out in the relays. Four runners must work together to get the best time. The key to a successful relay is all in the “hand off”, the exchange of the baton. Smooth hand-offs get the next runner out quickly, bad hand-offs slow the next runner down. Races are won and lost in these key hand offs! In life our key hand-offs are when we have given it our all and we need to “hand off” to God what we know only He can do. Too many times, our hand offs are terrible with God. We may put the baton in His hand but then jerk it right back out, and do this over and over again. Or we may not hand it off at all and try to run tired when we could have simply handed it off and already be resting! Successful hand-offs to our problems are key to running the race that God so desires us to run!
3. 100 M Dash. The 100 is for the fastest athletes. The ones that have Roadrunner speed. The key to success for these quick athletes is a great start out of the blocks. Sounds easy but often these athletes get jittery. Sometimes they jump the gun and get disqualified, sometimes the fear of being disqualified makes them a ½ second slow getting out of the blocks and sometimes they just struggle to get out of the blocks cleanly. In life, we too also struggle with timing. Sometimes we get ahead of God and “jump” the gun. Sometimes we aren’t quick enough to do what God is calling us to do and other times we do get out of the blocks but then stumble right away. But when we do get out of the blocks in perfect timing, watch out everyone! We are blazing and quick to do whatever God calls us to do. That’s the life we want to have as Christians!
4. Mile Run. The mile run takes discipline, self-control and a good healthy pace. These runners have to run their own race, know when to make a move, and try to save some “kick” for the end. They can’t begin the race at 100 M dash speed and expect to keep the pace up for the entire race. It just isn’t possible! In life, we sometimes are so excited about our calling and what God wants us to do that we attack it with 100M dash speed, only to realize later we are in for a much longer run. Frustration, fatigue, and doubt all set in when we realize we are in for a longer time period than we first realized. But after realizing this we can get back into the race and follow a more controlled and sustaining pace to reach the goal that has been set in front of us!
5. Discus. Participants take a heavy disc and they twist their body in a one and a half circle turn and with all their might and some grunting propel the heavy disc onto the field. Whoever throws it the longest distance wins. In life, we need to get our body and mind wrapped around our sins and twist, turn and groan until we throw that sin as far away as possible. It’s not enough to ask for forgiveness to a sin you repeat often, it’s time to ask God to strengthen your mind, your will to cast those sins out of your life. It seldom is easy and often times you feel like you are going in circles but its part of the process to casting those sins away!
6. Long Jump. The long jumpers take a running start and at the board they take a mighty leap into a pile of sand that extends further than the best jumper can possibly jump. The winner is whoever jumps the farthest without “scratching”. In life, we finally make up our mind to take a leap of faith and so we try to get a running start going before making the jump. We finally take the jump and we are flying through the air! We are excited and the feeling of freedom while soaring through the air is like no other! Then we land in the sand! Just like the ones Moses rescued out of Egypt by God parting the Red Sea, they felt like they were on a high on their way to the promised land but then they found themselves in the desert! They too landed in the sand. Suddenly the leap of faith didn’t look as promising. Instead of measuring how far they had come with God, they measured how much sand was in their sandals, “scratching” their heads and turning away from God. We must realize that just because our leap of faith lands us in sand, that victory could be right upon us. We must simply get up, dust ourselves off, and ask God for direction. It also wouldn’t hurt to look back for just a second to measure how far God has already taken you.
7. Pole Vault. Pole Vaulting is a very dangerous event. The athlete has a pole, runs at the mat, plants the pole in the right spot and then uses the pole as leverage to propel him/her over the bar set at around 10 feet or higher! At the apex of the jump the athlete let’s go of the pole to soar across the bar and land on a mat! Sounds pretty crazy doesn’t it! In life, we often try without the right devices to reach our 10 feet or higher goals. We run towards these goals equipped with nothing (no pole) and aimlessly fall short by a LOT each time. We need help to propel us over our goals in life. God is our power in making our personal goals. Once we have Him, He can propel us far and above what we could possibly do on our own!
8. High Jump. The best method to use in the High Jump is called the Fosbury Flop. You go head over heels over the bar and kick your legs at the end to clear the height. The name certainly doesn’t sound like success. Anything dubbed a “flop” doesn’t seem like it would be the best way to achieve high goals in the sport but it is. Just like in life, we don’t always see our “flops” to be the best way to make it to our goals but in reality our flops can be what propel us to even greater things that exceed our goals and expectations. If we go “head over heels” for God He will use our flops to make us better.
9. High Jump Shoes. High jump shoes have been developed to give extra stability in the heel so jumpers can gain more traction in their “J approach”. In the J approach a runner tries to gain great speed running in a J shape, the curve gives the runner the best momentum going into the approach of the bar. Without the extra stability of the shoes and the correct form, athletes may slip or go at a slower speed in their approach limiting how high they can jump. In life our “J approach” is our approach to having a personal relationship with Jesus. What gives us the extra stability in our “Jesus approach” when we make that curve is the word of God and our prayer life. When we get these two things going, we see ourselves propelling high above the world’s standards and seek new heights with Jesus!
10. Declaring the Winners. During the meet, those who place in events are assigned a point value and a tally is kept for each team. The “ultimate winner” is the team that scores the most points.This doesn’t mean that the “ultimate winner” wins every race; they just have a good showing in enough races to take the team title! In life, we aren’t going to win all of our battles and races either. To be crowned champions in life does not rest in our being the best in everything, it rests in one thing, becoming new again when we accept Jesus as our personal savior. The shedding of our self and living our life for God transforms us into the “ultimate winner”. We may go through life and suffer many defeats but as long as we are carrying out our life for God and showing Him, He is who matters, then we will be crowned in heaven “Ultimate Winners” and our trophy will be ever-lasting fellowship with Him!

God Bless or God “B” less

    Each day we make a statement as to what we want from this life.  The statement may not be uttered by our words but it is in our actions or lack of actions that speak our statement.  We either are asking for “God to Bless” us in our life or we are asking for “God to “B”less” in our life.  Each day the sum of what we do, how we spend our time, what we desire, what we are thinking and how we handle ourselves in the day, sums up to that we either actively sought God’s blessing or we actively sought God’s lessening grip on our lives.
What I mean is that through the day if our thoughts and  actions are not focused on what God would have us to do then we are deliberately turning away from his blessings and we are making Him be less in our lives than we openly want to admit.  The balance of the scales as to whether God blesses you or becomes less in you, doesn’t really lie in going to church, serving, tithing, having quiet time and praying, it lies within the motivation that is behind those acts that only you and God know.  I have at times been a check box Christian who does nothing more than do things to check off my Christian list.  Church (check), Bible Study (check), Prayer time (check) Serving (check), Tithing (check), Quiet Time (check). There might be some residue behind from checking off my Christian chore list but for the most part I would spend the rest of my time doing what I wanted and thinking about what I wanted.    The balance really lies with what you are thinking about and the actions you take in the summation of each day!  It’s great to do the things on the Christian Chore list but it means little if you are doing it to merely keep appearances or merely doing it because that’s what a Christian is supposed to do.
The only difference between God Bless and God B  less is just a tiny space but that distance changes its entire meaning!  The distance you have from looking like a Christian and being a Christian is in that gap. Here are some examples:

•   For God to Bless, His word has to be more than words on a page.  They have to be words of life to you and your soul.  For God to “B” less, don’t even bother reading His word or if you do let it just be words you rush through to get it done.
• For God to Bless, God is on your mind in each situation and in each moment of the day.  You throw up little prayers throughout the day.  You talk with Him about everything as it is happening and ask for guidance right then!  For God to “B”  less, don’t pray at all, or if you do,  pray over your meals a generic prayer and pray before you go to bed.
• For God to Bless, church is not something you drag yourself to do.  It is something you can’t wait to get too.  You can’t wait to sing and to hear the word of God.  Then throughout the week you meditate on what you heard.  You look for more scriptures about it.  You are earnestly looking to be fed more.  For God to “B”  less, whine and complain about going to church or skip it.  If you do go then don’t participate.  Listen and feel like you got your fill for the week and  hide your mal- nourished anorexic soul.
• For God to bless, the tithe is not enough.  God doesn’t want 1/10 of  anything,  he wants it all!  Commit all your finances to God just as you commit all of yourself to Him.  He will call you to be generous beyond 1/10.  For God to “B” less, don’t tithe and don’t be generous to others.  Or if you do tithe, get into the mindset that 1/10 is enough and not open the 90% up to God. 
• For God to bless, reserve quiet time where it’s just you and God and no other noise.  Be still and just listen, other times you might just be still and pray, or be still and read in His word.  For God to “B” less, don’t have quiet time with Him.  Always have background noise and distractions around to keep that time occupied with other things.
• For God to bless, serve whenever and where ever you can.  Your church doesn’t have to set up a mission trip for you to go down and feed the homeless, or to donate items for those in need.  You don’t just serve in church and be done for the week.  Each day you look to find someone at a store, at work, at home or where ever you are to serve them in some capacity.  For God to “B” less, be too busy to help out anyone else or if you feel like you have to do the bare minimum then go and serve for an hour at church and let that be it! 
• For God to bless our home, He has to be the center of our home and the focus of our attention.  He has to be the talk of the house with parents using biblical principals to teach the children and the children hungry for more spiritual food!   For God to “B” less, all we have to do is let our busy lives take us over and ignore Him. 

Each day we have a choice Allow God to Bless or Allow God to “B” Less!

The Sherbet Life

Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you”, says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.”

God’s plan for our life is good!  Like this bowl of rainbow sherbet, God wants us to have a vibrant life filled with so much and to know that His plan for us is for good and not to harm us!  But getting to the place where life looks like the beauty of this sherbet takes some time.  We don’t start out looking like this!  It’s a process and it takes time and its messy at times!

The ingredients for sherbet and a vibrant life is

Milk (1Peter 2:2 You must crave pure spiritual milk so that you will grow into a full experience of salvation)

Fruit (Galatians 5:22 The Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control.)

Sugar (Proverbs 24:14  In the same way, wisdom is sweet to your soul. If you find it , you will have a bright future and your hopes will not be cut short)

The steps to making it: 

Combine  pure spiritual milk and fruit of the spirit (this may take some time as you have to wait for some of the fruit to ripe) Go ahead and process the  fruit you have bore in the process of life and wait to make another batch until those are ready. This is how it comes out in multiple colors. This may feel tedious and take awhile but necessary to  make it all happen.

Guidelines for fruits that ripen first.  Love, Joy, Peace are usually the first and  go well together.  Patience, Kindness, Goodness are second and they also blend well with one another and Faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control are usually the last of these to be harvested.

Process until smooth. (Takes a really long time sometimes)

Taste and add the sweetness (wisdom) you were gaining while processing the pure spiritual milk and fruit of the spirits. Process again until smooth. Taste and reflect.  Go back and ask for more wisdom for sweetness.  You always have to ask for more.

Go back and in another container combine the spiritual fruits that are  now ripe and mix in with more spiritual milk . And repeat this until all fruit has been harvested. Again this makes the vibrant colors using all the different fruits in different batches. 

Place the mixtures in an ice cream maker in our case “The Maker” that’s been right there through the whole process and continue according to the manufacturer's instructions (which is the Bible and where you got the recipe and your spiritual milk from)

 

And that’s how God can make something beautiful out of your life! Skip an ingredient or rush a process though and it doesn’t come out the way God wants it too.  It may still be good even if it’s not as solid as it should be (not enough time with The Maker). It might not be sweet enough (lacking wisdom).  It may have too much milk (knowledge) and not enough fruit ( love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control). It may be solid, but its gotten a little freezer burn  from not using it when you should.  

And if you try to wait to have all the fruits of the spirit at one time and make only one batch, it will just turn out ugly brown.  It may taste good (although I bet it will lack some sweetness due to a lack of wisdom) but it doesn’t look appealing to those unbelievers who have yet tried to make a life with God’s plan! Your lack of vibrancy keeps them from even bothering to try it!   By following this recipe,  unbelievers can look and see that you are making something beautiful and they want to find out more about it.   You have them intrigued on how different your life looks to theirs.

  You might be happy with what you got out of life but God had the recipe he had hoped you’d follow closer to make the best out of your life!    He is still happy with how you turned out but He knows you would have enjoyed His plan for you so much more! 

So if you don’t like the way your life has turned out so far, why not go back and try the recipe again.  If you are in the process of drinking in the word, waiting for fruit to bear,  and/or waiting for some wisdom in your life, don’t lose hope or be discouraged.  You are making your life something beautiful each day you embrace God’s word, bringing forth the fruit of the spirit, and growing each day with God and seeking His wisdom.  One day the Lord will say Matthew 25:23 “Well done my good and faithful servant.” and I think he might add, “Your life was just like the beautiful life I  had planned for you.”

The Path Part 2

 

  Isaiah 49:10 “. . .For the Lord in his mercy will lead them; he will lead them beside cool waters.”

 

On the first post “The Path”, the path was taking a blind turn.  It had been easy up to this point to trust God on my walk with Him but now as it was making a turn around a bend and I could not see what would lie ahead, my faith began to falter.  I could go on and trust in the God that had brought me through so much, I could stall out and reflect on how far I have come in my journey with God and quit all growth with Him, or I could retreat back where little was expected of me.

  As I let go of my insecurity, as I began to reflect on my hurts and pains, I knew I didn’t want to walk back through all of that and re-live it again!  I knew my time sitting here and not moving forward was also of no more use to me.  So as I took God’s hand and he helped me up, I did not feel weighed down by my past or my present.  I felt hope! This photo is exactly where the bend took me when I decided I was going to faithfully, hand in hand with God, make the blind corner.  It led me "beside the cool waters” on this awesome rainy Spring day!  The path before the turn was not nearly this vibrant and beautiful.  Maybe it was in God’s timing that I take the time to reflect on where we have been on “our” journey, maybe sitting on the path contemplating where I have been and where I needed to go was exactly what I needed to do!  To sit there and let the winter of my soul finish its course, letting go of some pain and hurt I have felt so far in my journey.  Ephesians 4:23 “…let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes.”  Perhaps that is exactly what was needed so that my walk with Him would have the renewed vibrancy of Spring! 

As he led me beside the cool waters, I felt His living water consuming my soul!  There was a light Spring rain coming all over me and making gentle beautiful ripples in the water.  I felt alive and my soul felt radiant with God’s love and his peace!

Proverbs 16:15 “When the king smiles, there is life; his favor refreshes like a spring rain.”

GIVE UP OR GIVE IN!

Think for a moment what you would do if someone saved your life from a fiery fire! Would you not feel compelled to thank this person and ask them what you could do for them for saving your life?

That is exactly what Jesus dying on the cross did for us! He saved us from a fiery eternal fire and once we acknowledge that He has saved us, we are made brand new and we are to give our lives to Him!

If you truly felt saved from the fire wouldn't you naturally want to follow Jesus's way!  But too many times, we are saved from the fiery fire and never follow through on giving our life completely over to Him!  We may never give him any part of our life and continue doing the same things in the same way (topic for a different day) or we may give God just "some" of our life and keep the rest for ourselves.

The challenge is surrendering your entire life to Him and because of our sinful nature choices are made each and everyday to what we surrender too.  Sometimes we wave the white "I surrender" flag in God's direction and sometimes that white flag waves in sin's direction.  Either way we are saying I can't do this!  If we wave the flag in God's direction, we are saying "God I give up my life to you, I can't do anything right without you." If we wave the flag in sin's direction we are saying "This is just too much temptation for me to handle, I'll give in to it just this once."  We either "Give UP or Give IN"  We either Give Up our life to God or we Give in to sin! 

Personally, I "give in"  a lot more than I should. My prayer this week is to "Give Up" more! Yes that even felt weird to type but it's true.   My challenge for myself this week is to make those decision points stick out and take the situation out of it and reduce it down to the basics of just asking myself  "Are you going to Give Up your life to God, or Give In to sin? Which way are you going to wave that white flag?"  

PS.And I was thinking, the next time you hear someone say, "I give up!" it might be a great time to share with them a christian perspective on "giving up" vs "giving in"!    

THE PATH (Part 1)

Psalm 32:8 The Lord says "I will guide you along the best pathway for your life. I will advise you and watch over you."

Has you life ever been on a path illustrated by this picture? Have you willingly set out on a path and things were going great but up ahead you see the path is about to make a turn around the bend! Try as you might you can't see what lies around that corner without actually turning that corner! As I see it you could do 1 of 3 things. 1. You can stall out and take a seat right here on the path and think about how far you have come and contemplate the next move. 2. You can retreat and completely give up all the progress you made because fear is keeping you back. 3. You can faithfully take one step at a time with God and boldly make the corner.

A lot of times in my life I have done #1 which is Complacency. I want to over-analyze the situation and even think that I'll just wait it out and surely someone else will be coming up that path anytime now and I'll just see what happens to them. Ironically, no one has ever shown up on that path because it is only mine to walk (with God)! I like to look back at these times and prove to myself how far I have come and give myself a pat on the back but really I haven't finished the race and all I'm doing is slowing down my progress to a complete halt.

I have also spent equal time with #2. Retreating. I have no problem following God's path for my life until it looks uncertain, requires more faith than I really have, or just downright looks like its going to be difficult! So I have no problems trying to back step and go back to where little was required of me. Then I get to a point where I have really fallen all the way back to where I started from and then again begin the same journey. Each time getting to that place where I am uncertain of making that blind corner!

Unfortunately, I have spent less time in #3. Faithfulness. Where I trust God and know that this is the path he is directing me and taking each step with Him. Proverbs 20:24 The Lord directs our steps, so why try to understand everything along the way? Although less time is spent here, I do know enough to say that stepping out in faithfulness does hurt at some point. If it didn't then we wouldn't need God right? But I also have been faithful enough to know that walking through difficulties with God brings you to an incredible place that you would have never gotten too if you were just relying on yourself, or where too complacent or scared to just be faithful and know that God is directing your paths. Romans 8:28 And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them. So if you know you are on God's path and you are insecure about going forward. Take courage! Mark 6:50 Jesus said "Don't be afraid. Take courage! I am here!"

PS. . .I took this pic on a walk recently and it was if Christ was speaking all of this to me when I looked at the picture for the first time! Maybe it will speak to some of you!

Patience Marker

Patience is one of those things I really don't have a good grasp on. My impatience often leads me down a down hill road headed straight for Temper Tantrum Tunnel and that's a place where I have complete tunnel vision focused on what is agitating me and on nothing else. It is there that my anger gets the best of me. I've been working hard on not taking that road and it seems in my normal day to day life I still take the wrong road more than I should. I often feel more defeated the more I try!

But lately there have been some circumstances out of my normal day to day activities. Circumstances and situations that normally would get the best of me. But they didn't! I was able to stay composed, patient, and calm! It completely surprised me! In my prayer time God showed me that it was the very things that were so difficult for me to handle where I felt I was losing the battle where my patience actually grew! It was in the times that I tried, and tried, and tried to not lose my temper where all I was doing was prolonging the inevitable tantrum, that my patience made the most strides! It was not in my two recent victories where I gained patience! It was in those moments when I strained to tame my tongue, when my blood pressure was rising, when I refrained from having to be right, when I tried so hard to not give in but in the end lost. . . that's where patience was gained. Moving that patience marker back a little further each time has let me gain some easier victories (Thanks be to God) but ones I never won in the past!

There were times when I felt my impatience and anger for a particular person was justified because I was right and she clearly was in the wrong. Circumstances with her that very few people could be calm through but I pressed on when others walked away. 1 Thessalonians 5:14 says "Be patient with everyone". It doesn't say "be patient with everyone except those that really get under your skin". I knew what God was asking me to do but I did not know at the time that it would have such a profound impact on how I handle so many other issues in my life.

Moving the patience marker back is tough! Gaining patience is like moving a huge boulder up a hill. It's hard to do and can't be done alone. If you try on your own, you will give up because it can't be done. But with The One's(God)help, the push is still extremely difficult, you want to quit but God won't let you, you feel defeated but you aren't, and through all that is so hard for you to do, you gain ground ever so slowly.

Today after much pushing, my patience marker is set back just ever so slightly. Looking at where that marker needs to be and where it is doesn't look all that encouraging! But just having moved that marker a foot back from where it was and seeing some changes made in this area is very encouraging!

If you struggle with your patience and you really want to change this just be prepared for many opportunties that will try your patience and will challenge you to push your patience marker back. And don't forget, you can't do it without God! It's a tough fight but one that you can gain ground on! And don't forget when you do win battles give God the victories!

Pride

I haven't written in awhile but plan on starting back up. This is a story I wanted to share that happend just recently.

There I was at my kids group swimming lessons. Sitting at the top of the bleachers with my Bible study on my lap and looking up scriptures on my smart phone, really oblivious to how noisy it is in the indoor pool facility. My study was on pride. As I looked up scripture and read the author’s narrative, I knew I had a lot of pride in my life. Pride is anything we hold on to ourself and don’t glorify God for the blessing he’s given us.

As swimming lessons were finishing up, so was my prayer. The author suggested getting on your knees to say this prayer but since I was in a public place I of course opted to sit in the bleachers and prayed earnestly to God to show me the pride I have in myself and teach me some humility! I admitted areas where I could see the pride and asked God to show me any areas that were hidden from my own viewpoint. I got up and made my way down to the bleachers, when I slipped on the wet tile around the pool and landed down on my knees just inches from falling into the deep end of the pool! As I looked up I said “Oh Thank you Sweet Jesus for not ordering a second baptism for me today”. Many people came to help me up and I knew right away that my prayer for humility had been answered in this “humiliating” way!

Pride for me is so hard to get! Bowing down to God in a public place would make me feel like I was trying to show others “look at me, I’m such a great Christian” and be a prideful act but God showed me if you don’t bow down before him, he can bring you to His knees more forceful and powerful than you can imagine! Proverbs 16:18 “Pride leads to destruction, a haughty spirit comes before a stumble.”

Lessons in pride hurt. I still feel the sting of busting my knee and elbow and the soreness all over my body but what a great reminder each time I wince to praise God and to openly profess on my sore knees the pride I have in me.