The Coach's Wife Poem

 

The Coach’s Wife

by Kim Stone

You know who she is by where she sits

And how she stays on the team not to quit

She’s not there for one person though most think she is there for just the coach her man

But those players on his team couldn’t have a bigger fan

She has no favorites to choose on the team

She cheers for them all to make their play-off dream

Most fans are there for their own kids and fade away from coming in a few years

But she is there year after year with each season‘s ending always bringing tears.

Every group that graduates she calls them her kids too

It hurts to see them graduate and move on to what they choose to do

Each year it gets harder and harder to see Senior Night

Knowing it’s their last game at home under those Friday Night Lights

It’s not easy being the coach’s wife

It certainly is a rewarding but hard life

You get to know wonderful young men and their problems too

Some things you hear just breaks your heart for what they are going through

Each day the Coach’s wife prays for each of the young men

And also pleads to God to help the team come up with the win

You see the players loving on their coach after a win or a loss

No matter what they seem to always respect their boss

However in the stands the parents and fans can feel quite differently about the coach

They say things that break the coach’s wife’s heart but she doesn’t go and approach

She takes it in while her heart breaks inside

If they only knew how hard that coach has tried

He is up before most even think it necessary to rise

He starts working then because he has his eye on the prize

He spends hours breaking down film of his team and others

He spends time making individuals into a team of brothers

It’s not easy to mesh and blend boys of completely different backgrounds

To be a cohesive group who doesn’t care who makes the touchdowns

It’s not an easy job and no one works harder than her man

But those in the stands feel like he has no game plan.

If she yelled and didn’t try to hold back

She’d let them know what was wrong with the passing attack

She’d say “Your kid didn’t block, or your kid ran the wrong route”

But she stays out of the ring and doesn’t try to fight that bout

She takes it in and often guards these things from her husband’s heart

If he knew what she heard it would just distract him from doing his part

It’s a hard life

Of a Coach’s wife

Many nights are spent without her husband by her side

He’s game planning, tutoring, or giving a kid a ride

He is a father figure to quite a few

They look up to him to see what they should do

So the coach’s wife is left to keep the family on track

Practices, homework, scheduling, she’s got it all on her back

The kids often go from Sunday at lunch to Tuesday right before bed

Without seeing their dad once because he’s been working with the team instead

But the kids take it all in stride

For their daddy they show a lot of pride

They know he makes a difference and what he does is for his team

Even if he can’t be home to say “Good night sweet dreams’

But still every once in awhile when he can’t come to a game of theirs or misses a play

They sometimes feel like having to share him is not Okay

But the coach’s wife lets them vent and rave to get it all out

And by the time she’s talked to them no one is left to pout.

When others don’t understand why the Coach’s wife is so upset about a loss

It’s because that loss did come at a great cost

The time, the effort, the coach puts in

Doesn’t seem to matter if there is not a win

The sacrifice he and his family make each day

Hurts a lot more when the kids don’t come to play

The pain of a loss is a slap in the face to our season

It’s saying our family sacrifices a lot for no real reason

So don’t tell the Coach’s wife that the loss isn’t a big deal.

Until you walk a mile in her shoes you can’t understand how it feels

Ever had your husband’s job rest on the shoulders of boys that are just sixteen?

Sounds crazy doesn’t it but it comes with the coaching scene.

Even in good seasons when the wins seem enough

There’s always someone who tries to make life rough

So when you see a Coach’s wife give them some thanks with a big smile

It may be the very thing that keeps them going for awhile

Winning isn't Everything! It's the ONLY thing!

 Those who say “Winning Isn’t Everything” must not know my Jesus!  My Jesus was beaten, whipped up on, ridiculed, made fun of by bystanders, mocked, falsely accused, persecuted, and pinned to the cross  for all to see what they thought was his shame.  Even Jesus’s biggest fans his disciples who knew Him and knew His miracles found themselves denying Him.  They felt if He really was who He said then He would stop what was taking place right then and there and reveal Himself.  They did not understand this was not God’s Game plan.  So Jesus died a painful and hard death on that cross.  His defeat was apparent to all!   He was put in a tomb and so my friends, if “Winning Isn’t Everything” the story would end here.

 

But it doesn’t!  Winning must mean something because on the 3^rd day my Jesus conquered the grave!  He rose again from the pain, from the bitterness of death, He rose again!  Victory was His for the taking and He took it! 

God never promised any of us a life without defeat but He did promise a life of VICTORY with Jesus!  And if we take God’s Play Book (the Bible) and we study up on His word and accept Jesus as our Savior and Ultimate Coach, one day when the last plays of our live’s are playing  out and the time runs out on our life’s scoreboard and we look up to see the score and we look defeated by much of the world’s standards,  just as time expires we close our eyes and the next moment we re-open our eyes to a victory celebration  and see our Coach in Heaven where VICTORY is finally ours!    

So please don’t ever tell me “Winning isn’t Everything”.  Ultimately, Winning is the only thing that matters!

Sandwich Generation

Mmm. . . Sandwich! I love sandwiches but I don't care so much for being called one!  The sandwich generation is what they are calling those who still have children to raise at home but also care for sick/elderly parents.  We joined this "club sandwich" when our oldest was 5 and our youngest was just 2! Last month our oldest turned 10 and our youngest just turned 7 a few months back.  I have had a hard time the last several weeks dealing with the fact my kids are growing up and realizing that a lot of time I could have been spending with them has been caring for and dealing with my husband's mother. 

I won't get into details of what the difficulties are we face daily but it's enough that our kids feel it too.  It's hard to be financially responsible for two different households but the dynamics work best when she has her own apartment.  Statistics show that those who are in the "sandwhich generation" typically turn down new jobs (done that), quit existing ones to stay home (done that), and typically have more health issues (check) than those who are not caught in the middle, and are also typically more tired and stressed (check).

So why do we do it?  Because we are called to do it and we have a responsibility to act. 

1Timothy 5:3-4 Take care of any widow who has no one else to care for her.  But if she has children or grandchildren; their first responibility is to show godliness at home and repay their parents by taking care of them.  This is something that pleases God. 

1Timothy 5:8 But those who won't care for their relatives, especially those in their own household, have denied the true faith. Such people are worse than unbelievers.

My flesh cries out almost daily not to take care of the responbility that lies in our lap but the Holy Spirit is in me and because of His daily presence in my life, I can not deny the true faith!  The scriptures don't say "those who are financially able take care of your parents, or those who have already raised their children then take care of your parents, or only take care of the parents that are easy to get along with that won't cause you problems.  There are no "outs" in this scripture!  The scripture even commands grandchildren to step up!  So when our kids had to share a room at age 2 and 5, to make room for their grandmother, this is the scripture we pointed too.  Even a 2 and a 5 year old didn't have an "out" in this scripture! 

The true message I hope I convey here, is that sometimes God calls us to do HARD things!  Things that seem to contradict what we want.  I sometimes wonder why God gave me these children  when He clearly hasn't given us what I would call "good circumstances" to raise them in. Like I said before, I have had a hard few weeks realizing how much of their lives they've been apart of this sandwich and how I miss the time lost with them.  But really God has given us the BEST circumstances to raise our kids in.  They know what it means to sacrifice for family.  They know what it means to care for someone even when its difficult and even when they'd rather be doing something else.  There are times when doing the right thing isn't something you want to do at all but then there's the spirit leading you to do the thing you don't want to do!  So you just "sigh" and get to doing what you know you were called to do!  That's how you move forward and that's how it gets better.  It's not whether or not the person you are caring for shows appreciation or even realizes what you do for them each and everyday, it's knowing that God is pleased!

Melody of a Heart.

  *NOTE* I wrote this several years ago and submitted this story to be a part of a devotional book.  The rules stated it couldn't be on a blog, it had to be unpublished material so I never posted it.  But here it is now. 

Melody of a Heart

I was at my women’s Bible study where we were discussing our next Beth Moore bible study “Breaking Free”.  Some of the women in the group were doing this study for the 2^nd time and were giving their testimony as to what God revealed to them and how their lives had been changed.   As I was listening to these stories, my mother-in-law who has been battling cancer, came to my mind.  She lived with us for 14 months until she was able to be on her own once again.  Since leaving our home, depression and loneliness, had set in coupled with her still shaky faith.  I felt God telling me to go and buy her a study book and invite her to our Bible Study.  Knowing her and how she avoids socializing, I just didn’t see why God wanted me to do this.

As I left our Bible study, I told our leader at the door that I was going to go and pick one up for my mother-in-law and invite her to Bible study.  As I got in the car driving to the store, I kept asking God, “Really, God!  Is this really going to strike a chord with her?”  So I ran into the Christian bookstore and grabbed the book.  The young lady at the counter rang me up and there was one candle holder at the end of the check-out counter and nothing else.  She picked it up and said, “My manager said this is free to whoever wants it. Would you like it?”   I didn’t even look at but said “yes, thank you” because I was thinking of my husband’s comment in our last snow storm about how we don’t have many candles anymore.  So I get into the car and decide to look in the bag at the candle and candle holder. (See picture above) It said, “Whenever one strikes the chord of another’s heart, the resulting melody lasts a lifetime”.  Tears fled my eyes remembering how I had just asked God if this was going to strike a chord and there in my bag was the answer!  I realized how God wanted to use this study to help my mother-in-law!

Ephesians 5:17  “Don’t act thoughtlessly, but understand what the Lord wants you to do...5:19 “. . . be filled of the Holy Spirit, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs among yourselves and making music to the Lord in your hearts.”

I had to understand what God wanted me to do to realize how it is that you make music to the Lord in your hearts. The spiritual song God wanted me to share with her was this Bible Study! To share with her how women have been released from captivity reading this, studying scripture and through fervent prayer.

How beautiful it was also, that God used a candle to speak this to me.   How he was showing me that He wants her to see the light and no matter how weary I’m growing in trying to help my mother-in-law with her faith that I should not give up!  He is the light and in John 8:12 Jesus proclaims. “. ..I am the light of the world. If you follow me, you won’t have to walk in darkness because you will have the light that leads to life.”

We are in Week 3 of our Bible Study and although she hasn’t come to the Bible Study, she has done some of the homework in her book at a slower pace.  I imagine God listening to her heart hearing her practice a few notes each day just in sweet anticipation of the day those notes come together in a beautiful melody for Him! 

*Now just a couple of years after I wrote this, in August of 2011 my mother-in-law was saved and baptized.  I want everyone to know that it wasn’t the study guide that I gave her that got her to commit to Christ.  She doesn’t trace it all back to the day I brought her that study guide as the day God started working on her heart.  It goes back further.  All along the way we planted the seeds God asked us to plant.  It didn’t just start when she came home with us from the hospital either.  It was even before then.  God had us planting seeds for years before we could see anything take root and grow in her.  So my advice to anyone who has someone like her in your life, keep planting even if it is not the right season for the person, keep planting because you never know when the seeds will grow! 

Football Prayer

10 Things About Life I've Learned From Being A Football Coach's Wife

10 THINGS ABOUT LIFE I’VE LEARNED FROM BEING A FOOTBALL COACH’S WIFE

By Kim Stone

1.       1. Win or Lose its how well prepared you were for the game that concerns the coach. Coaches put in a lot of effort and time in making the game plans and looking over scouting reports. They put together what they believe will work and leave it to the players to execute it.  Coach’s will claim a defeat from the players if they feel that the game plan was not solid and that it didn’t put the players in the best position to win. In a close win that shouldn’t have been close, a coach will question his game plan to see if the near miss wasn’t caused by lack of preparation. So it is in the game of life.  Whether you win or lose, God cares how well prepared you were, the time you put in with Him, and how well you executed what you have learned from Him through His word.  Things in life will creep up on you (like underdog teams) when you haven’t prepared and trained yourself in how to respond in a godly way. 

2.       Scoreboards state the winners but the locker room defines who was victorious.  Too many times victory is claimed on the field but in the locker room, jealousy, anger, bitterness, conflict, dissension, and ungodly attitudes prevail.  Just like in life what appears to everyone else as a victory stated by the worldly standards may actually be a huge defeat in the locker room of our soul that few have privilege to see.  Likewise a defeat by a close knit team who gave it all their effort, will find victory in the locker room holding each other up and encouraging one another.  Just like in life a defeat in appearance to the outside world can easily turn into the encouragement our souls need to continue and press on!

3.      You must stay hydrated!   Players all too often suffer terrible cramps mostly because they don’t stay hydrated enough during the course of the game.  Likewise in life if you are not continually reaching for the “Living water” to quench you and stay hydrated, you too will find yourself in some anguish.  Take the time each day to take in your “Living Water” and stay hydrated by His “Power-aid”

4.      It’s all won in the off-season.   It’s NOT when there’s a 300lb lineman wanting to return them to dust, where a player learns how to take him on!  It’s in the weight room where they train their bodies and prepare themselves for when the day comes when they need that strength.  Just like in life, it’s a lot harder to go out and tackle life’s problems if you haven’t been prepared for them.  Start now to train up your mind, heart, and soul to God’s truths when you aren’t being tested.  Don’t just go to God and His word when it’s time to tackle something.  Prepare everyday by reading your Bible, praying and spending time with God!

5.      Sometimes the game is not called fairly.  Many times, we are just in shock over a terrible call or a terrible missed call by a referee.  It’s hard sometimes to swallow the misjudgments of others especially when it comes down and costs us the game.  But so is life!  Life is not fair and God never claimed it would be.  The good news is that the referee for our life isn’t some guy who is just earning some extra money on a Friday night.  Our referee is God! He sees it all and allows all calls whether we see them as good or bad to be exactly what we need at the time and ultimately works them out for our own good!  Even though at times it doesn’t seem fair or seem like it could possibly be the right call, God undoubtedly sees something we don’t see! 

6.      Holding could be called each and every play.  In football a referee could call holding on each and every play, instead he calls it only when it’s “bad” enough to warrant it.  Lucky for us in life, holding can be called all the time too!  God holds us in the palm of His hands and through all of the plays of our lives he is intentionally “holding” us! It’s often only when we are hurting so “bad” that we feel his arms around and call it God “holding” us.

7.      False starts happen when you aren’t snapped in and focused.   There are times when players “jump” before the ball is snapped and the little yellow flag goes sailing in the air.   The player wasn’t focused on knowing the right time to go and therefore was given a penalty.  Just in life, we sometimes want to get ahead of God and “go” before He advises us to do so.  In doing that we often get ourselves in some trouble and have to take the consequences and then wait for God our QB’s call to get back in the action.

8.      Depth is crucial to make a long play-off run .   In football you got to have a bench to go to.  If a player gets tired or hurt, you got to have someone else come in who can fill the spot without giving up any intensity or skill at that position.  Without that kind of depth, the play-offs probably won’t last for long and a gold ball crowning you as the champs won’t happen!  So it is in life!  If you are living a superficial life of only caring about yourself, your money, and chasing materialistic worldly things, then you won’t have the depth in your life to obtain the abundantly, rich life God has planned for you.  Study God’s word to gain some depth.  Jesus died for your sins so that your sins could be paid off. Essentially giving you a long “paid-off” run that extends all the way to the “Golden” gates to take your crown and collect your trophies!  

9.      The Red Zone is crucial to winning.    From the goal line to the 20 yard line is considered the “red zone”.  Offenses come up with special plays for the short field in hopes of settling for nothing more than points on the board.  Just in our life there is a red zone that cannot be ignored and is the only way to our victory.  In the Bible Jesus’ words that He said are written in red.  This is our red zone!  Without acknowledging that Jesus was born of a virgin, lived the sinless life, died on the cross for our sins, and was resurrected on the third day, then ascended to heaven,- then there is no victory!  For Jesus said the only way to the Father was through Him!  Without believing in Jesus, our salvation and hope for everlasting life and victory in Him is pure defeat!  So study your “red zone” in your Bible and read the words of Jesus.

10.   Timeouts are meant to be used.  In football, there are times when the opponent makes adjustments and what you’ve been doing no longer works so you call a time-out to make some changes or talk about some mistakes you notice the team is making.  In life, time-outs are a MUST!  And in life we aren’t limited to how many time-outs we call to confer with our coach (God).  We can call as many time-outs as we want to use! Sometimes God calls the time-outs and sidelines us from something to gain perspective.  Other times we are the ones calling the time-out with a prayer asking for guidance, what to do, and the strength to get it done.  Either way, timeouts were meant to be used and helpful with getting back on track

I TRULY MUST, TRULY TRUST

Psalm 37:7-9
Be still in the presence of the Lord, and wait patiently for him to act. Don’t worry about evil people who prosper or fret about their wicked schemes. Stop being angry! Turn from your rage! Do not lose your temper—it only leads to harm. For the wicked will be destroyed, but those who trust in the Lord will possess the land

I’ve given some thought to what patience and impatience really boils down too.   To be patient means that you are trusting God completely and waiting for His timing and not just knowing this truth BUT living it out with waiting and peace.  Impatience means that you really believe that you could do a better job than God and although you may say you believe and trust in God’s plan, impatience is the proof  that  you don’t trust Him as you should. 

I closed my eyes the other day while reflecting on patience and this is the image that I saw.  Patience  feels like being on a raft in the ocean unable to see the shoreline from any direction but knowing the waves both slowly and surely are taking you where you belong. You don’t necessarily have to like the wait but just trust the waiting is part of getting there in God’s timing.   When you lose your patience it’s as if an eruption of fury inside of you comes out like fire from the mouth and in the middle of the ocean you lose  your cool and erupt causing you to set your raft on fire because it’s not getting you to the shore fast enough. Then there you are left to swim on your own wishing you hadn’t  lost patience and set fire to your raft.  The entire time you are waiting, you have a huge weight  on yourself.  You can’t rest otherwise now you’ll drown.  You are tired, weary and bitter but there is hope.  If you have lost your patience, you can’ t  get your raft back on this trip but if you cry out to God to help, He will send you a life preserver.  And next time when your patience is tested, if you sigh real big and say “here we go again. Might as well enjoy the ride” peace and tranquility come in and even though being on the raft might not be your favorite place to be you know the wait will produce you to easily show up to the shore where your answer awaits from God.  Impatience is our way of not trusting God, believing we could do better on our own rather than waiting for God’s vessel to get us there with His peace and tranquility.  

  I now understand why patience is so important.  Being patient is more than being quiet and sitting in the waiting room of life, it shows tremendous trust and shows that you truly believe God’s ways and God’s plans for your life are better than you can do.   Impatience comes over us because we feel a loss of control and believe we could do a better job than God.  Have you ever noticed when you pray for patience all you get is more trying times that make you exercise your patience?  That is because patience can only come from a heart that believes God’s in control and He knows best.  Sometimes it takes many trials and loss of patience to see the true meaning behind  what patience represents. 

I feel so challenged by God to really look at my impatient outbursts.  When my time frame doesn’t match up with His how do I react?  When it took 6 months to buy this house my reaction  came from feeling out of control and not truly trusting.  I nearly drowned trying to get there my way but when I asked for that life preserver, He provided.  While waiting for a job, I stayed on the raft longer than I usually do but I still had an outburst or two and tried things in my own hands and again had to ask for a life preserver!  What I really want! What I really strive for is to stay on the raft next time!   “I TRULY MUST, TRULY TRUST! “ is what I’ll tell myself when I am about to lose my cool!  We all struggle with impatience and if we truly believe God is in control of everything including traffic that drives us crazy then we must trust his time clock called patience.  We can't look at our watch and calendars. Our watches and calendars should just be called "impatience".  It won't be in our methods of time, it will be in His.  Patience shows trust! Want people to believe you Trust God? Then show them some patience! 

I know just from writing this today, I am going to have a lot of tests on patience come up!  I may fail a few, get a "C" by the world's standards but God knows my heart and He knows I want to change.  He'll keep throwing the tests at me and given me the lessons.  He'll make the tests harder than I can handle but all I have to do is raise my hand and He'll help me with it!  To many of us think we have to take the tests alone but His tests are open book and you can ask questions.  The answers though only come in His time so you have to wait which in itself is just another test of patience!