Sandwich Generation

Mmm. . . Sandwich! I love sandwiches but I don't care so much for being called one!  The sandwich generation is what they are calling those who still have children to raise at home but also care for sick/elderly parents.  We joined this "club sandwich" when our oldest was 5 and our youngest was just 2! Last month our oldest turned 10 and our youngest just turned 7 a few months back.  I have had a hard time the last several weeks dealing with the fact my kids are growing up and realizing that a lot of time I could have been spending with them has been caring for and dealing with my husband's mother. 

I won't get into details of what the difficulties are we face daily but it's enough that our kids feel it too.  It's hard to be financially responsible for two different households but the dynamics work best when she has her own apartment.  Statistics show that those who are in the "sandwhich generation" typically turn down new jobs (done that), quit existing ones to stay home (done that), and typically have more health issues (check) than those who are not caught in the middle, and are also typically more tired and stressed (check).

So why do we do it?  Because we are called to do it and we have a responsibility to act. 

1Timothy 5:3-4 Take care of any widow who has no one else to care for her.  But if she has children or grandchildren; their first responibility is to show godliness at home and repay their parents by taking care of them.  This is something that pleases God. 

1Timothy 5:8 But those who won't care for their relatives, especially those in their own household, have denied the true faith. Such people are worse than unbelievers.

My flesh cries out almost daily not to take care of the responbility that lies in our lap but the Holy Spirit is in me and because of His daily presence in my life, I can not deny the true faith!  The scriptures don't say "those who are financially able take care of your parents, or those who have already raised their children then take care of your parents, or only take care of the parents that are easy to get along with that won't cause you problems.  There are no "outs" in this scripture!  The scripture even commands grandchildren to step up!  So when our kids had to share a room at age 2 and 5, to make room for their grandmother, this is the scripture we pointed too.  Even a 2 and a 5 year old didn't have an "out" in this scripture! 

The true message I hope I convey here, is that sometimes God calls us to do HARD things!  Things that seem to contradict what we want.  I sometimes wonder why God gave me these children  when He clearly hasn't given us what I would call "good circumstances" to raise them in. Like I said before, I have had a hard few weeks realizing how much of their lives they've been apart of this sandwich and how I miss the time lost with them.  But really God has given us the BEST circumstances to raise our kids in.  They know what it means to sacrifice for family.  They know what it means to care for someone even when its difficult and even when they'd rather be doing something else.  There are times when doing the right thing isn't something you want to do at all but then there's the spirit leading you to do the thing you don't want to do!  So you just "sigh" and get to doing what you know you were called to do!  That's how you move forward and that's how it gets better.  It's not whether or not the person you are caring for shows appreciation or even realizes what you do for them each and everyday, it's knowing that God is pleased!