I TRULY MUST, TRULY TRUST

Psalm 37:7-9
Be still in the presence of the Lord, and wait patiently for him to act. Don’t worry about evil people who prosper or fret about their wicked schemes. Stop being angry! Turn from your rage! Do not lose your temper—it only leads to harm. For the wicked will be destroyed, but those who trust in the Lord will possess the land

I’ve given some thought to what patience and impatience really boils down too.   To be patient means that you are trusting God completely and waiting for His timing and not just knowing this truth BUT living it out with waiting and peace.  Impatience means that you really believe that you could do a better job than God and although you may say you believe and trust in God’s plan, impatience is the proof  that  you don’t trust Him as you should. 

I closed my eyes the other day while reflecting on patience and this is the image that I saw.  Patience  feels like being on a raft in the ocean unable to see the shoreline from any direction but knowing the waves both slowly and surely are taking you where you belong. You don’t necessarily have to like the wait but just trust the waiting is part of getting there in God’s timing.   When you lose your patience it’s as if an eruption of fury inside of you comes out like fire from the mouth and in the middle of the ocean you lose  your cool and erupt causing you to set your raft on fire because it’s not getting you to the shore fast enough. Then there you are left to swim on your own wishing you hadn’t  lost patience and set fire to your raft.  The entire time you are waiting, you have a huge weight  on yourself.  You can’t rest otherwise now you’ll drown.  You are tired, weary and bitter but there is hope.  If you have lost your patience, you can’ t  get your raft back on this trip but if you cry out to God to help, He will send you a life preserver.  And next time when your patience is tested, if you sigh real big and say “here we go again. Might as well enjoy the ride” peace and tranquility come in and even though being on the raft might not be your favorite place to be you know the wait will produce you to easily show up to the shore where your answer awaits from God.  Impatience is our way of not trusting God, believing we could do better on our own rather than waiting for God’s vessel to get us there with His peace and tranquility.  

  I now understand why patience is so important.  Being patient is more than being quiet and sitting in the waiting room of life, it shows tremendous trust and shows that you truly believe God’s ways and God’s plans for your life are better than you can do.   Impatience comes over us because we feel a loss of control and believe we could do a better job than God.  Have you ever noticed when you pray for patience all you get is more trying times that make you exercise your patience?  That is because patience can only come from a heart that believes God’s in control and He knows best.  Sometimes it takes many trials and loss of patience to see the true meaning behind  what patience represents. 

I feel so challenged by God to really look at my impatient outbursts.  When my time frame doesn’t match up with His how do I react?  When it took 6 months to buy this house my reaction  came from feeling out of control and not truly trusting.  I nearly drowned trying to get there my way but when I asked for that life preserver, He provided.  While waiting for a job, I stayed on the raft longer than I usually do but I still had an outburst or two and tried things in my own hands and again had to ask for a life preserver!  What I really want! What I really strive for is to stay on the raft next time!   “I TRULY MUST, TRULY TRUST! “ is what I’ll tell myself when I am about to lose my cool!  We all struggle with impatience and if we truly believe God is in control of everything including traffic that drives us crazy then we must trust his time clock called patience.  We can't look at our watch and calendars. Our watches and calendars should just be called "impatience".  It won't be in our methods of time, it will be in His.  Patience shows trust! Want people to believe you Trust God? Then show them some patience! 

I know just from writing this today, I am going to have a lot of tests on patience come up!  I may fail a few, get a "C" by the world's standards but God knows my heart and He knows I want to change.  He'll keep throwing the tests at me and given me the lessons.  He'll make the tests harder than I can handle but all I have to do is raise my hand and He'll help me with it!  To many of us think we have to take the tests alone but His tests are open book and you can ask questions.  The answers though only come in His time so you have to wait which in itself is just another test of patience!