What is it God? What is it?

I felt led to share this poem. Maybe some of you are going through a time where you want so much to understand what is going on but don't really get it. Yet through the scary times you have a peace about you like you've never felt.  This poem just spilled on to the keyboard tonight.  I hope it helps someone.

What Is It God? What Is It?

by Kim Stone

Something is churning inside of my heart

Something like a huge storm is ripping me apart

The dreams, the themes, what does it all mean?
Why are my emotions so hidden so unseen?

Why does it take these nightly terrors
To show me what’s behind the barriers

Lord, why can’t you show me in words what you want me to know
Why does it have to come in fear in the night with pain and so much woe?

What is it God that you want me to see?
What is it God that you are calling me to be?

I know the themes are about rapid and permanent change
But the truth behind the dreams feel so far out of my range.

What is it God that has me scared as a I sleep?
But then when I awake I find a peace that is so deep?

What is it God that you are showing me?
What is it God that you are wanting me to be?

You say those that ask shall receive.
What is it God that you want me to believe?

What is it God that you are preparing me for?
What is it God that is rocking me to my core?

What is it God,
what is it?

Yeah I know Him!

 For those who don't know him, this is Kirk Cameron who in the mid to late 80's was a teenage heart throb for many young girls!  I know Kirk, we go way back.  His birthday is Oct 12 and I still think of him on his birthday!  He is 5'9inches tall and his grandparents back in the day had an inground trampoline!  Yeah that's pretty cool!  His little sis got into the acting business too.  She was on Full House.  His parents named him Kirk after Captain Kirk from Star Trek!  There was a time I knew everything about Kirk Cameron!  I knew his favorite color, favorite foods, and even his dislikes!  I knew what movies he was working on and what he liked to do when he wasn't working on the set.  I really followed him and would buy whatever magazine he was on the cover of because I wanted to know more and more about him.  I really don't think there wasn't much I didn't know about him.  The problem is I only knew about him!

See Kirk and I have never met.  Which will explain why we never got married.  I really thought we'd end up together.  I knew everything about him and hungered to learn more.  The problem is we just didn't know each other.  Today if Kirk Cameron showed up here, I would immediately recognize him and speak to him by name but in return, he would be clueless as to who I am.  And that's the problem with too many Christians!  We know Jesus just like we know Kirk Cameron(or insert another celebrity idol) . We know who HE is, we know what He has done, we may even be a huge fan and we even know what He is capable of but we don't have that relationship with Him for Him to know us like He so desires!  Of course God knows us all, He knows everything but He gives us free-will to seek Him to have that personal relationship that He wants with us.    To some the Bible is more like a biography of facts about Jesus' life more than it is the Living word. Read this verse and see if it doesn't shake you up a bit.

Matthew 7:22-23 “Many will say to Me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in Your name, and in Your name cast out demons, and in Your name perform many miracles? And then I will declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from Me."

Just like if I met Kirk Cameron tomorrow and he acted like he didn't know me and I tried to say "Well you and I went to school together everyday. Your picture was on my backpack.  I spoke of you often to all of my friends and declared my love for you to all who would listen! Sure you know me."  He would surely say he didn't!  He might appreciate me being a loyal fan but that in no way shape or form means that he knows me!  Same with God, if we are going to church, have the Bible app on our phone that we carry with us everywhere we go, and declare our love for Him to all who will listen, that does not equal that we know Him. We know of Him.  We know who He is.  But do we have the relationship with Him?  That's what matters! 

I strongly feel for 2012 a strong sense that many who know Him don't have a relationship with Him.  I'm not talking about just the ones that haven't been saved.  I am also talking about the ones that have been saved.  The ones who know what Jesus did on the cross and accepted his forgiveness and salvation yet still have never experienced a relationship with God.  There's just more to it folks than being saved.  Being saved is just a first step towards a relationship with God.  What we do after we are saved is just as important as the saving moment!  I know this may be controversial to some but I feel led by the spirit to share it.  If you want Jesus to know you, if you want God to accept you into his kingdom, the first step is to be saved and the second step is to get to know Him personally.  We are each unique and God speaks to us all differently but what I do know is that you have to spend time with Him to hear from Him.  Ask God to help you have a relationship with Him, and He will do just that!  God spoke this message to me this morning and even brought up my past love for Kirk Cameron as the example.  I thought about changing the message to fit another celebrity that could appeal to more folks but God used Kirk Cameron this morning and so Kirk Cameron it is!

By the way, I am glad things didn't work out between Kirk and I.  I am pretty blessed with the life I have with my husband and kids!  :)

Following Him

I had a dream about Jesus that I haven’t shared on this blog. But with 2011 coming to an end, it is one story that I have left untold but it needs to be told. Perhaps this is something someone needs to hear at the start of the New Year!  This dream occurred in February of 2011.

In my dream, I was climbing a red mountain and Jesus appeared to me! I was so surprised to see Him! He told me to follow Him but He was so fast, I couldn’t keep up no matter how fast I tried to run. Periodically, Jesus who was ahead of me would stop and pray. I seized this opportunity as a way to press on and run in hopes of being able to catch up with Him. But each time after he got up from prayer, I’d find myself even further behind unable to catch up! I kept calling for Him but he kept going! After I pleaded with Jesus to slow down and wait for me because I was unable to follow Him,  he finally said “You say you want to follow me but when I stop to pray, you keep going, if you want to follow me you must do as I do.” So I began to stop when Jesus stopped to pray and each time I did I got closer to Jesus when I raised my head and got off my knees, I was gaining ground and catching up! I began asking Jesus "What's on the other side of the mountain? Is it the answer I have been looking for?"  Jesus kept going without a reply. By the time we were near the top of the mountain but not where we could see over I was caught up with Him, Jesus said, “When you really follow me, it’s no longer about where you are going but just about following me!” I woke up and it all had felt so real to me!

At the time of this dream, we were waiting to hear if Chad got the head coaching job at Altus and if this meant if we were moving or not. It was an anxious time for us! I was so seeking confirmation that this indeed was an answer to my prayer. I had only prayed that the right door would open for us. I no longer wanted interviews for him, I just wanted the right interview for him. I had prayed to just shut the doors that wouldn’t be the right ones and just open the right one. I just wasn’t sure if God had answered that prayer and I was seeking to know what the outcome would be. My answer was it really doesn’t matter where you go as long as you are following Jesus and doing exactly what He asks you to do! That gave me so much comfort then and it still does now!  In looking deeper at the meaning of my dream, the picture above is a very close resemblance to the mountain in my dream.  When I clicked on the image to add it to my blog, I was surprised to see that it is a picture of the Quartz Mountains which are located very close to Altus!  I only found this out while setting up this blog post!   

Perhaps in beginning this new year, some of you are anxious about the future and where or what you will be doing.  Just know that it's no longer about where you are going but in just following Jesus!  Sometimes Jesus has you running the right path and up the rocky mountain that has your answer but you don't even realize it until it is over!  So just keep following Him, that is all that matters!