Monday, April 20, 2009

Obedience


Jeremiah 7:23 "Obey me and I will be your God and you will be my people. Walk in all the ways I command you that it may go well with you."

Obedience to God's commands can sometimes make you look like a fool to people of the world. I think that's why so many prudent people struggle so much with obedience to God. It's often crazy, radical things that logical people just wouldn't do that God asks you to do.

For me, it's to voluntarily take a severance package in this economy. Some people would do that in a heartbeat because they don't like to work but for me. . . I'm out of my comfort zone and it doesn't seem the logical thing to do. I have somewhat reluctantly accepted that I have a calling to teach. I don't know why I am so stubborn. Others have seen it for a long time, but I have been somewhat slower to it but now I see it and I am embracing it. So I'm leaving my career, I do not have a teaching job, I don't even quite have a license to teach yet but I will take this walk in obedience. I have no idea where we will end up or if I'll even get a teaching job this time around but I just have to have faith that I'm moving in the direction God is wanting me to move in.

I see this summer off with my family as a blessing. We need some time to be together and have less stress in our day to day lives. I will daily have to remind myself to not get anxious about the tomorrow's ahead. A lot of the time our answers do not come until the last possible minute so I might as well enjoy each day and do what I can each day but to not let worry take root in me!

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Rest


1 Kings 5:4 . . . the Lord my God has given me rest. . .

It's amazing to me how busy everyone is and how tired so many people are! And then when you cut right through it, people are busy with things that just don't matter that much in the grand scheme of things. Work does provide food on the table and a place to live but when it consumes every bit of your energy, there's a problem. Social activities are fun and enjoyable but not if you are overly social and have little time for the ones at home that call you mom or dad! It's hard to strike a balance. For me I get up extremely early and go to bed sometimes way too late to support getting up so early and the day is packed with work, household chores, my daughters homework, cooking dinner, getting the kids to bed, and then getting ready again for the next day to do it all over again! It's a crazy cycle and it has been wearing on me to the point that I was just exhausted. The exhaustion has been so intense that I was hurting all over my body and so I went to the dr searching for a medical reason.

This past weekend, an extraordinary opportunity came my way! My husband took the two kids to San Antonio to visit their grandpa and go to SeaWorld! I have to admit, the thought of not going with them on this trip did hurt. I felt guilty for not being up to going. I just could not see myself in this exhausted state trying to walk all over SeaWorld. But after praying about it, I let them go and I stayed behind and the Lord has given me rest. While they were gone, I found out that I do have a medical problem causing some of my exhaustion but I refuse to blame my thyroid for how I chose to use the energy that I did have.

I see now how important it is when we have given it all we have got, to just be still, to be quiet and allow our tired bodies to just rest! I've used this time to think about the things that really do matter to me and how I can work on pouring more of me into God, my kids and family and pour less of me into the other things that just don't matter as much.

I challenge everyone to really look at how they are using their energy and time and see if it's being used on the right people and on the right things.

By the way I do know how blessed I am for having a husband that would take 2 kids on vacation by himself!

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Anger Management


Its kind of like I signed up for a "God University" course in “Anger Management” I had been praying about needing help in this area and God saw in my heart I was sincere. And the first day of the class was the hardest assignment, dealing with my mother-in-law on a 24/7 basis when she moved in with us almost a year ago when she was suffering from cancer. To say we didn't get along is an understatement but I knew God called us to help her. I stepped out in obedience first and it took a lot longer for my heart to get into the act. Each time she did something to annoy me or drive me crazy was an assignment from God and each time back then I would fly off the handle and fail my assignment. Right when I wanted to drop out of the class, things were getting even harder and finally I had to ask God, my instructor on what to do, how to help me, and it was like He opened my eyes to see and understand things differently and although I had to do the work, He was giving me all the answers . Sometimes I refused to do the right thing but he didn’t flunk me. He would give me a make up exam by putting me in a similar situation again to prove that I could do the right thing!

After many months, I have not passed "Anger Management" and I think it will be a lifelong learning class but I have passed the chapter on getting along with my mother-in-law (most of the time). That was a God-sized task and he saw me through it. Since then I can see that I am less stressed at home and at work. Little things do not bother me like they once did and my temper has tamed down some. I still have a long ways to go but I have learned to stop and pray about things especially the words that I use. Sometimes it's like I feel God's hand over my mouth preventing me from saying something that I might regret. My next step will be for my mind not to think of the things I shouldn't say but to be filled with all the right things to say so that I am not so quiet these days!

For anyone out there who has problems with anger, talk to the Instructor, He is patient, will teach you more than you even want to know and is very good about make-up exams and pop quizes! Trust me I know!