When The Season Ends

As a coach's wife, this for me is the dreaded time of the year, when the season ends.  Only 1 team in our class, will end with a win, the rest end our seasons on a loss unless you don't make the play-offs but win your last game.  So the majority of us, end the season wishing for more no matter how good or bad the season went.  So what happens "When the Season Ends" for me as a coach's wife?  

• When the season ends there is sadness.  It is not uncommon for me to feel extremely down for several weeks.  The most common reasons for this sadness is disappointment for not reaching our goal, knowing it's the seniors last game, and the uncertainty of our future.
• When the season end there is an abrupt stop.  For months, we keep up insane schedules and go, go, go and then it just stops.  This year I coordinated and/or cooked 30 meals for team/coaches over 12 weeks. I did this while taking care of everything at home and making it to our own kids softball, basketball and football games.  
• When the season ends there is frayed nerves.  No matter what your record is there is always someone who complains about the coach and of course I hear it or see it on social media.  There's not much I can do about any of it but it gets on my nerves tremendously! Top it off with being tired and you have some frayed nerves.
• When the season ends there is exhaustion.  As soon as it comes to an abrupt stop, slowing down brings upon an exhaustion that is like no other.  Coupled with the sadness, it can be borderline depression. 
• When the season ends there is re-adjustment.  For months my husband hasn't been home, hasn't been able to help out around the house, or attend all of the kids games or spend much quality time together and at the sound of a buzzer, all that changes.  He is now home, exhausted, has his own frayed nerves and he feels a need to get re-adjusted to all of this too!  When the season is over, we don't automatically go to normal.  It's very hard to ease in to the life we had before the season.
• When the season ends there is worry.  Will you be back next season?  What does next season look like? This part sticks with you all year but right after the season worry hits his peak no matter what your record is! 
• When the season ends there is excitement.  Yes you read this right.  In the sadness, and the exhaustion their is a little excitement about getting my best friend back.  About my own kids, having their dad's full attention. The possibility of a long over-due date night.  Family meals together again!  Attending a real church rather than doing church online!  

I don't think others outside the coaching family realize how hard all of this can be on the coach and the family.  It's our life.  It's not just a job or a game.  We didn't wake up this morning and just get on with life.  It's a long process! 

The Field

This picture speaks to my heart and brings tears to my eyes! I want to share the Bible verses this field represents to me.

Psalm 126:5 Those who plant in tears will harvest with shouts of joy! They weep as they go to plant their seed but they sing as they return with the harvest.

1 Corinthians 3:7 It's not important who does the planting or the watering, what is important is God made the seed grow!

1 Corinthians 3:9 And you are God's field!

Psalm 96:12 Let the field and all that is in it burst out in joy!

I look at this field and I know the tears that got us here. I know the pain. I also know God's faithfulness and I know He created a way when there was no way!

The emotions I feel just looking at this field, are deep rooted in the faith that I have in this season. I am anxious, nervous, I feel unprepared in every way and I have every reason to doubt things won't be any different this year, but way deep, there's faith the size of a mustard seed that says this year is going to be different! And you know what? All you need is mustard seed sized faith! Seeds planted, constant watering, and it is up to God to grow that seed! I am not talking about just winning games, I am talking about winning over people to God!

Tomorrow night we begin our season at home! I honestly don't know if I can keep tears from not streaming down my face. The field gets me emotional!  When I read in scripture, "You are God's field" how can I not look at the football field and not feel a deep love for God and be humbled by His love and His work in our life!

Whether the season brings winning and joy or losses and heartache, my mustard seed of faith will stay rooted and it will grow when God sees fit for it to grow!

Turning 40 and 40 Things I 've Learned

A few weeks ago, turning 40 seemed very depressing. What have I accomplished in 40 years? That question was depressing and life surely hasn't gone as I had thought or planned. God directed me to ask myself, "What have you learned in 40 years?" I began thinking about that and I challenged myself to come up with 40 things I have learned. The first 39 items, came to me so quickly that I could barely write fast enough to keep up with my own thoughts. God was bringing some important truths I have learned over the years and I fervently wrote them down in a short 30 minutes. When I looked to see how many I had, there was only 39. It seemed strange that 39 things flowed so quickly but #40, I was drawing a complete blank! Then God said "Your #40 is something you have yet to learn but something that will forever change your perspective. (I'll get more to #40 in a minute).

I felt these 40 things, should be private since they are the things I have learned but God has been pulling me to share what I have learned. In my busyness, I have not been obedient to it. And #24 clearly shows I know better than to delay what God asks me to do. But I also think it brings up an interesting point. Although I have learned these 40 things, it doesn't mean I am perfect in these 40 things. It means that I know them and although I strive to do them, I am not perfect and I fail over and over just like everyone else.

40 Things I Have Learned

1. I am usually unhappy in life when I try to fill up on things rather than fill up on God's word.

2. Marriage takes work and doesn't run on feelings but rather on a deep commitment.

3. Commitment fails when it's just a feeling. Commitment is determination + perseverance.

4. Happiness is short lived but real joy lasts despite the circumstances changing.

5. Chasing after things that don't matter is a wasted life. Make sure what you are striving for is worth it.

6. Parenting done right takes work. It doesn't mean hovering over your children but there's never a day off.

7. There's never time to do that thing or see that person you have been meaning to see so make the time.

8. If the devil can't make you do wrong, then he makes you busy. Guard against unnecessarily being burdened with things to do.

9. Life has very little to do with the job you do.  It has more to do with the work God asks you to do.

10. Never let a job take you away from doing the work God asks you to do.

11. Your marriage is important but your relationship with God is even more important. Keep Him first.

12. Your children are important but your marriage needs to come before the kids for things to work.

13. It is possible to love friends as family.

14. Taking time to rest is important.

15. Most problems are created by ourselves or others because they serve as distractions keeping us from seeing what we really need to see.

16. Life is very seldom about what we see it's about going deeper.

17. When you realize the road to heaven is narrow, you realize how many aren't heading towards the path that will take them there.

18. The closer you get to God the more your viewpoint changes.

19. We make loving one another more complicated than it needs to be.

20. Forgiveness sets you free even when the other person shows no signs of wanting to be forgiven- forgive them anyways.

21 If you look for good you will find it.  If you look for bad you will find it.  Look for what is best for you to find.

22. God will fight your battles for you if you let him.

23. You don't have to have all the answers, you just have to have all the prayers.

24. Delayed obedience is not obedience at all.

25. Time heals wounds only when you pray over those wounds.

26. Don't confuse the right thing to do and the easy thing to do. Doing the right thing  ALMOST ALWAYS is NEVER the easy thing to do.

27. Doing the right thing even when you don't want to is the definition of obedience.

28. Relationships are all that matter.

29. Be committed before you marry and take divorce off the table as an option.

30. Relationships can thrive after going through difficult times.

31 Don't rob yourself of an amazing outcome because you quit when things got hard. It's a process. Stay with it.

32. Trust God not people.  People will let you down. God will not let you down even when you feel like he is. His ways are better than ours. 

33. You'll never understand God's love for you until you become a parent.

34. You'll never understand your parent's love for you until you become a parent.

35. Life is comprised of the small things that when brought together let you see the true picture.

36. Success does not equal fame or money.  Success lies in your obedience to God.

37. I've never felt like who I am has aged, just feel like time brought about more understanding.

38. People only remember how you made them feel.

39. Life lessons often repeat until you learn from them.

40. What you do for others is never taken for granted by God.

And there it is #40.  "What you do for others is never taken for granted by God!".  In this season of life, it's easy to feel taken for granted.  But God, He sees it and He isn't taking this for granted.  He knows what I am doing.  He appreciates the obedience! He could do without the "pouting" part though and I think that's why he brought this to my attention! 

With a fresh perspective having wrote this weeks ago, the over-arching theme in these 40 things is "Priorities", "Obedience" and "Relationships".  You need to establish things in the right order with God first, then your marriage, then your kids.  You need to be obedient to His word and what He asks you to do.  And life is all about "relationships".  Your relationship with God first, then your relationship with your spouse, then your children, then the relationships outside of that. It's amazing to think of the huge chunk of time, I have devoted to work either as being a manager or being a teacher and stepping back and realizing that the life God wants us to have has little to do with our 40+ hour a week job but has to do more with the relationships we build and the obedience to Him while we are there!   

I hope this list helps someone in someway.  Sometimes I am very excited to share what God has shown me and other times I'd rather keep it to myself.  This is one I'd rather keep to myself but God has urged me to share. Thanks for taking the time to read it.  

Providence

Providence is the "protective care of God."   When I am going through difficult times, providence always comes to my mind.  It's not talked about a lot.  It's not something you hear preached about but it's something God always whispers in my ear. Providence.

I've seen God's providence in my life so many times!  The first time I remember God's Providence over my life was waking up one morning before school  when I was in 3rd or 4th grade and asking my mom if I should go get the mail that morning.  Everyday I got up without ever asking and went and got the mail.  But that morning, I asked and my mom she said, "No don't worry about it. Just enjoy your breakfast and go on to school." When I left for school, there was an ambulance at the Post Office.  I found out at school there was a shooting and a man died.  My mom went to the Post Office later and the Postmaster was still cleaning up the blood.  He was shaking and told my mom that the shooting happened at the time I show up every single morning.  So he had grabbed his gun and was going to protect me and shoot the shooter if I walked in!  God's Providence!  He covered me by prompting me to ask my mom, he prompted my mom to send me off to school and he prompted the Post Master to be ready just in case! God's protection was there even if I had been disobedient and not asked, God had layers of providence in place.

Later at 14 when my dad died, there was  God's providence !  Looking back, we lost my dad and the family business all at the same time.  I can only imagine now how scary that all must have been for my mom.  But God provided for us and still does.

Then at 25 I was leaving work and didn't put my seat belt on because I never did.  I saw 3 police cars, before I went ahead and put that seatbelt on. 5 minutes later, I was hit on the highway going home and my car flipped.  I found myself dangling upside down with the passenger door right next to me and the back of the car was all the way to the driver seat.  The wreck was so bad they called for a Medi-flight but after being cut out of the car and taken to the hospital on a backboard, I walked out of the hospital with just a few cuts and an encounter with an angel (but that's a story for another time). God's providence!

The doctors had told us that we wouldn't be able to have kids as my heart wouldn't be strong enough. I found this out before we got married and tried to call of our marriage so that Chad could have his own kids.  Again God's providence showed up and Chad refused to NOT marry me!  And 5 years after heart surgery, I was pregnant with Lindsay! When I was very sick and our son was born premature at 4lbs 11oz and he and I left the hospital together in just a few days!  God's protection was over us both!

When we built our first house, I was naturally drawn to the "Providence" Floor Plan and that is the one we selected! I loved the idea of the foundation of our life and our home is on "Providence".

In everything, from jobs, to our safety, to our family, to our home, God has continued to show His Providence over us. I am blessed beyond measure how a whisper from God saying "Providence" immediately plays a long list of examples in my life where His providence was shown and it forces out the worries going through my head!